Sunday, May 15, 2016

The Single Mother Who Gave Birth As A Virgin

Africa, Madagascar, Smiling mother breast feeds her baby
I have always seen single mothers as very strong women. They might have made mistakes (like everyone of us) but from a cynics point of view, their mistake (the unexpected baby) lives with them forever and keeps getting bigger. These are women who have turned their “mistakes” to blessings. These are the women to who I dedicated my mothers day article to. A few of them reached out to me with nothing but praise for article. Click HERE to read “Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers”.
As it turns out, a friend who I never even knew was a single mother reached out and decided to share her story titled “A Single Mother Shares Her Heartwarming Testimony”. Click HERE to read how she delivered on the bare floor because nurses laughed her off saying she looked only two months pregnant whereas she was 9 months gone.
Another single mother reached out to tell her story. Unbelievable as it sounds but she actually got pregnant as a virgin. Below is an except from the conversation we had. I tried as much as possible to quote her verbatim so forgive any typographical errors and short hand styled words.

Kemi (not real name): I have read the “Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers” article and I have never felt this celebrated. My son is here asleep on my chest. I am sure if he understands what you just did, his heart will bless you. God bless you for this.

Me: You are loved and appreciated dear. God bless you too. On second thought, I think you should tell your story. I am sure it will help so many people and make people feel a pinch of what you girls go through. Please start from scratch. I will ensure your identity is protected.

Kemi:  I was fresh in school, I made some frnds from fellowship, my frnds frnds and all. Anyways I met a particular funny youngman who caught my fancy. We started dating after bin frnds for a year. We started dating wen I got to 200lvl. While we dated we engaged in heavy romance but never had intercourse.
Along the line I noticed some traits I couldn’t cope with and decided to call it quits. I wanted to break up with him face to face and told him to come over to my place only to discover I was pregnant the next day. I was only 19. I told him and he totally denied which was quite understandable. The hymen wasnt pierced. Yes we were messing around there but I never had d liver to have sex.
His mother adviced me to go abort it and all. I never even contemplated abortion.
My father ws sooo hurt cos im the last child and his favourite. He’s also a pastor so tht must have been quite dificult considering his reputation. My parents supported me even as dissapointed and hurt as dey were.
On the day of delivery, my hymen was finally broken on the examination table while in labour. Like I got pregnant as a virgin. I was cut open when I couldn’t deliver d baby myself.
Tru out the pregnancy and childbirth his father wasnt there.
Wen I gave birth they showed interest but didnt take responsibility for his care and welfare and for yrs now I havent even heard from neither his father nor his family.
I work hard to support my parent to care for him. Thank God for God and my parents.

Me: Wow. Very surreal. So how does having a baby affect your relationships?

Kemi: Some guys run @ d mention of baby while some stay but do not wish to take u serz
Some want u bt cant handle d baby ish. But others stay and love you.
Infact I am with a great guy who loves me nd my son.
Me: Any advice for people (those that tend to judge single mothers unfairly), parents who find out their daughter is pregnant, parents whose son impregnates a girl and lastly for girls that unexpectedly gets pregnant.

Kemi: For those that judge single mothers, stop judging, you dont knw where the shoe hurts until u wear it. For parents, stand by them! Yes chastise them for it but stand by them. They need you the most at such a vulnerable time. Dont lose the chance to be your daughter’s hero/heroine. For guys who get girls preg be a man! Take responsibility, sometimes its not about financial responsibility alone, be there for them. Love your child. And for parent whose son impregnated a lady,imagine she ws your daughter. Whatever happens care for them. Its a better way to teach your son to be a better man for his son. And for the girl that gets pregnant out of wedluck, yes you made a mistake, dont make another one by taking the baby’s life. Stand up to and face your mistakes. It’ll help you be a better mother and teach your children to learn from your mistake and not theirs.


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